Lunch for 7

Chef Camp for Tom and Conor came to an end this week and was capped off with lunch for parents and family. On the menu was Chicken with Tomato Jam, Confetti Corn, Spiced Pear & Apple Salad, Cornbread, and Double Stuffed Lemon Bars. Conor was on the team that prepared the corn and salad while Tom prepared the chicken.

In attendance was my husband, myself, their mother’s parents, and their stepfather. We all sat at the cafeteria table together and oohed and ahhhed at the meal presented to us. Phrases like, “I can taste the layers of flavor” and “are you able to replicate this at home?” were uttered. Both boys were very proud and we were happy to be a part of it.

It’s so important to take the time to be present for these types of things in their lives. Sure, it isn’t always possible to make every school performance or sporting event, but not being there should be the exception, not the rule. Our kids know we will all be there if we can. They also know that all four parents, and even extended family, will come together for the common goal of supporting them. It is known and agreed upon that what is best for the children is everyone’s priority.

If that means we all need to climb into cafeteria tables and eat chicken off paper plates together, then that is exactly what we are going to do. Some may argue that this is a difficult or even an impossible task because they can’t get along with the other parents long enough to share a meal. To that I say, your priorities are out of whack. The only difficult part of this scenario should be getting in and out of a cafeteria table in a skirt. Otherwise it is painfully simple - show up, eat your food, say nice things, and watch as your kids bask in the glow of all the people around them that love them.

A Dog Funeral

Yesterday I helped to host a memorial service for a dog. Now this wasn’t just any dog, this was my dear friend’s companion for the past 10+ years. Sutter, a loyal and loving black lab, was rescued by my friend Cheri years ago. And Cheri, a loyal and loving woman, was rescued by Sutter in turn. Sutter was a dog that provided comfort, protection, and solace to Cheri and many others in her lifetime. Her passing was devastating to many, my family included.

When I told my son Joey, who recently turned five, that Sutter had died and gone to Heaven his response was simple and heartfelt, “That is so sad.” He was then struck by the thought that Sutter may fall out of Heaven at any minute and so we should all be careful and watch our heads. Tom and Conor, ages twelve and nine, were more visibly upset about Sutter’s passing. To them it was a reminder that there is an hourglass attached to us all and that time will run out. Their immediate thought was to our elderly dog Brian, and both wondered aloud how much more time we would have with him.

Last night the wake was held. A memorial canvas was on display of Sutter, paw print cupcakes and margaritas were served, and memories were shared. It wasn’t a time for sadness, but a time to come together and show our support.

To some it may seem odd that a memorial service was held for a dog. To me, it was important to honor Sutter because she meant so much to Cheri. And to me, it's not really about whether or not we are memorializing an animal or a person... memorials are to honor loved ones that have passed and Sutter was loved beyond words.

At the end of the evening Joey asked why Sutter didn’t wait and go to Heaven with Cheri, he said, “a smart dog would have waited.” I tried to explain that it doesn’t really work like that, but Joey didn’t want to hear it. To him, Sutter should be with Cheri always. Someday he will realize that Sutter is with Cheri, and always will be.