Pregnancy Musings

Baby Milo will be here soon and I wanted to take a minute to reflect on this pregnancy journey. 

• Sciatica - This is definitely new with this pregnancy and has been rearing its ugly head since the first trimester.  In the middle of the night I am grateful for the walls to hold me up on my many trips to the bathroom because my leg will not support me.
• Pelvic pain - Walking is very difficult and has been for the past couple months.  Even walking down the hall is a workout.  I definitely miss my walks with Heather and it is frustrating to be so uncomfortable walking around.  Doc says his head has just been in a low weird spot and that's what is causing the pain.
• Cravings - Throughout the pregnancy I have had various cravings for things like McDonalds caramel sundaes, pop tarts, pastries, caramel corn, and ice cream (sweets mostly!).  With Joey all I wanted was pineapple and lemonade, with Logan it was all about baked potatoes, but with this one all I want are sweets.
• Morning sickness - Just like with Joey I was super sick for a very long time.  I had to be medicated after losing too much weight.  It was a very difficult time for me, and the whole family really, since I was down for the count on a daily basis for months.  Lots of tears, depression, and misery for months battling Hyperemesis Gravidarum.   
• Heartburn and leg cramps - Just like with Logan, I have been having bouts of heartburn daily and frequent leg cramps.
• Anemia - I was anemic for several months but tested negative recently which is good news.
• Exhaustion - There is nothing like pregnancy level tiredness!
• Pregnancy Insomnia - Totally exhausted and wide awake all night - Unisom has been my friend this pregnancy.
• Hormones - Crying at the drop of a hat is not typically me, but it has been during this adventure! I nearly cried when Starbucks was out of blueberry scones one day - ridiculous.
• Size - In the last month or so I have gotten much bigger.  Up until then I was really pretty small and people were always commenting that I was tiny for how far along I was.
• Movements - You can pretty much see Milo move whenever he shifts, which is pretty weird looking! He also has recently been developing bouts of the hiccups.  Very weird to have your baby have hiccups when you don't have them!
• Thirsty - I am thirsty all the time - very unlike me.  And, water tastes good - totally unlike me!  My drink of choice is cranberry juice though, I'm sure I have drank gallons and gallons of it in the past several months.
• Carpal tunnel, headaches, swollen ankles, itchy stomach, etc. - yep, dealt with all of those this pregnancy too.

Okay, so with all of this pain and suffering it is amazing that women keep getting pregnant!  But of course it is all worth it.  I would take a bullet for any of my kids, would suffer anything for them, so obviously this is totally and completely worth the amazing gift we will have in the next 2 weeks.  I just wanted to document some of the not so magical parts of pregnancy so that I can remember this when I start getting Baby Fever again, and so that I can sympathize with others who are also not feeling like pregnancy is the most wonderful experience ever. Having a baby is wonderful, being pregnant is definitely a challenge for me.

12 Weeks and Counting...

Okay, remember how I said I would be venting at times about pregnancy?  This is one of those times...

I found out I was pregnant at the beginning of August after several days of nausea.  Now, several days has turned into several weeks and that is draining!  Physically, emotionally, psychologically draining to be this sick for this long with no end in sight.  You see all day sickness doesn't magically end after the first trimester for me.  As I learned with my first two pregnancies it lasts for months and months.  It can result in bed rest, mandatory weigh ins at the doctor's office every two days, threats of IVs, and medications.  I am really trying to avoid all of that this time around, but it's really hard to even maintain my weight when everything sounds disgusting and the no-warning dry heaving has me carrying around a roll of dog poop bags in my purse!  This is the not so magical part of pregnancy.

I'm exhausted all day, have sciatica for who-knows what reason, feel sick pretty much non-stop, cry at everything, and may have started referring to the baby as a parasite.  Okay, I get that this is all for our child and that I would do ANYTHING on the planet for my children.  But, I am not too proud to admit this is hard and there are times (a lot of times lately) when I find it hard to be excited because I am too busy feeling completely miserable.  Thankfully Hubby is taking very good care of me, I know a lot of women aren't as lucky as I am to be married to such a caregiver, and I am grateful for him.  Tonight he even brought a mini-fridge into the bedroom so I could have Jell-o and juice cold by the bed!

Maybe if I get some sleep tomorrow will be better.  Maybe my body will stop freaking out and let me have a break.  A girl can dream!

Big News!

We have BIG news - there is a tiny person inside of me!  If you had asked me 18 months ago what my life would be like in 2013, I would never in a million years have guessed this.  18 months ago I was living a completely different life built on a foundation I had no idea was shaky.  I thought my family, the definition of "family" I had at the time, was solid and untouchable.  I was wrong.  Over the past year I have learned the hard way that life can throw you curve balls you never saw coming.  My family has experienced unimaginable pain, stress, sadness, and loss in the last year and that is why this little miracle is so amazing.  

The past 6 months have been a time of rebuilding for us.  A time where we could really focus on what is important to us and what makes our family strong.  We focused on each other, on building relationships within our community, on strengthening ourselves individually and together, on cherishing little moments, and on enjoying family and friend time.  It has been a wonderful six months, a welcome change from the six months before that.  And so, when we really felt we were in a great space, we got incredible news - a baby! 

To say this baby is a blessing is an understatement.  He or she is a clear sign that our lives are on a new path, that the path we are on is the path we are meant to be on. This baby will be adored by their older siblings and of course their parents.  I am so grateful to be able to experience this again, I never thought we would do this again and still can't believe we get to! Don't get me wrong, the morning sickness is awful, the sciatica has brought me to tears, and I am sure I will vent in future blog posts about the difficulty of pregnancy.  But for this post, I am just going to focus on the magic of it all.  Because today I saw my baby stretch and wave on that grainy ultrasound screen - so, today, I am filled with awe and appreciation.    

 

Baby at 11 weeks - 2" long with 158 heartbeats per minute